Let’s have this conversation:

“The 40 Worst Dressed Cities in America: #4 Chicago”

Wha the wha?!?

“Chicagoans like to hedge descriptions of their style with, “It’s not New York, and it’s not LA…” It’s self-conscious Midwestern. Lucky for them, harsh 11 ½-month winters serve to excuse a look that screams third-coast-insecurity: The Parka Pierogi. Ingredients: Blown-out Nikes; torn cargoes; favorite novelty T-shirt; Bears/Bulls/Blackhawks hoodie—all wrapped up in a totally nondescript parka. Are those things municipal-issue?”

The fact that Manhattan and LA are also on the list to leads me to believe that GQ doesn’t think any American cities are well dressed (and to be fair, if we’re pitting the US against Paris or Rome, it’s game-over) but if you mess with Chicago, you mess with me.

First of all, it’s really hard to look cute while wearing the 1,000 count down parka that is necessary to survive a nearly omni-present threat of frost bite. You try dressing for a day that may include a snowstorm, flash flooding and 90 degree heat with 100% humidity, all within the same 24 hour time span.  If you still wind up on best dressed lists then we’ll talk.

Second, due to the above mentioned standard issue parka, street style is tough but you better believe we do style when it counts.  Stop by any Gold Coast restaurant or River North watering hole and you will find some fabulously styled Chicagoans.  The ones who do the “self-conscious Midwestern” look are tourists (I love sequins but head-to-toe mid-day Mich Ave is not the time or place).

Third, Chicago is home to so many amazing neighborhoods that each have their own style and vibe.  Well-dressed is totally relative to where in the city you are.  Downtown style might include a Louis V and Jacki O’esque sunnies but head to Bucktown for some hipster chic, Lincoln Park for yuppie chic and Wrigleyville for…drunken Cubs chic.

In conclusion, this list is wrong-o.

And that’s why I think about that.  GQ, suck it.