The 5 Stages of Starting a Business

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I left my employed-by-someone else job in November and have since started my own company. I’ve heard parenthood called “the longest shortest time” and while I have not birthed an actual child in the last 6 months, I have found that phrase fairly accurate describing bringing a company to life as well. Now that I have a roster of clients and full days, I find myself thinking “Wow! Everything came together so quickly!”. But there was that time (also known as all of February and the better part of March) where I wondered what the hell I was doing with my life and self-doubt occupied every corner of my brain.

When looking back at the decision I made to start a PR and Brand Development company and the time it took to make multiple Hamiltons, the stages to get here are pretty clear and they look a little like another 5 Stages. So I present to you…the 5 Stages of Starting a Business.

  1. Denial. No, I’m not really doing this. I can’t start a company. Starting a business is what other people do, other people who have better connections, are smarter and more successful than I am. People who are independently wealthy and probably really good at Excel. I am just taking this time to freelance until I find a stable salaried job with benefits and a 401k because I am an adult and those things matter. This isn’t really happening because no one would want what I have to offer, no one would pay real money for that. Nope, I am just in a transition time that is anything but starting a business.
  2. Anger. Why do I have to start a business? Why didn’t the companies I worked for in the past fulfill every need and goal I had? If they had their shit together, I would have stayed and made them millions of dollars and not had to go through figuring out what my next step was. Why doesn’t the business I want to start exist already? Shouldn’t someone have already done this and I could join their team? Why do I have to be the one to provide this solution for the market? Why didn’t I become a teacher/accountant/[insert other job with a (perceived) clear path] so that I knew where I was going to go with my career? This is complete crap. What is wrong with everybody, everything and what is wrong with me?!???
  3. Bargaining. Okay. So if I start my own company, I will be my own boss. I will be the sole factor in how much or little income I make. If I start my own company, I can choose who I work with and what projects I take on. I can work how I am comfortable working, create my own schedule. Not wear pants until 2pm if I don’t want to. Go for a run to work through any blocks I have (*likely while wearing pants). If I start my own company, I can create the business and life I want.
  4. Depression. This is never going to work. I am a huge failure. Worse than a failure, I am worthless and it’s comical that I ever thought I could do this. I’m not good enough to start a company. I am not worth the paper Lean In was printed on, let alone thinking I do anything a big CEO even did in their first internship. The only thing I am good for is raising my cat and that isn’t even going well. I am bad at folding laundry well and hate cleaning my shower. I have wasted so much time and money and it’s all for nothing because I am not good enough to do what I think I want to.
  5. Acceptance. I am starting my own company. I have started my own company. Every conversation, every relationship, every interaction, every success during my entire career was a brick building up to my company. My LLC is filed, I have a business credit card, and my website has been published. I have my own company. I have clients. I am giving out my business cards for MY business. I am telling people what I do, I am making connections. I am sending out emails, I am getting press, I am building strategies that are valuable. I set my own schedule, I burn the midnight oil, I have big wins, big learnings…and it’s all mine. Because I started a business.

Random Update

ninainthechiChicago%s Comments

Lincoln Park Colorful Row Houses

I know I came out of the blue with that post about UberEATS yesterday so I figured a little update of the most random sort was in order:

This winter has been a godsend, especially after the last 2 winters Chicago has had. Getting outside to run and walk and really do anything has been infinitely more enjoyable than any February or March I can remember.

I am OBSESSED with Siggi’s Yogurt, particularly the Vanilla-Fig flavor. Lots of Icelandic-style yogurt being consumed around here.

On the drive to Michigan for my grandmother’s memorial, my husband put on the Hamilton cast album so I would have something to do while he worked in the car. As much as I love singing, there is 1000% a reason why I don’t do it for a living and God bless that man for listening to me belt out every.single.part of that musical (except for Lafayette because rapping with a French accent is hard.)

Speaking of belting out songs, Soul Cycle had an all Broadway ride last Friday and I went and was surrounded by my people…overly enthusiastic musical geeks who knew and performed every song right alongside me. I usually don’t love Soul Cycle but singing out loud while riding a bike is hard so two thumbs up for the Broadway ride at Soul Cycle.

I started a brand development and public relations company in November and the website went up this week. I really believe that big companies, small companies, startups, you name it can craft really incredible stories that lend themselves to impactful marketing campaigns and it’s been really cool bringing that work to organizations I believe in. Check out the GardnerMediaCollective.com and don’t hesitate to shoot me a note, I would love to work together.

I have been pouring over the Frankie’s Sputino Kitchen Companion and Cooking Manual. Their Sunday sauce is simmering on our stove on most weekends and I love the laid back way they talk through recipes.