Muffins are Naked Cupcakes

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“Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool-blasterz, with a z. I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes big ol’ cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks…. Food rakes”

Tom Haverford

There is an entire website dedicated to this guy’s food slang.  I don’t know who he is but I do know that I have been referring to forks as “food rakes” ever since I read this.

I wonder what the chances are of me ordering a “Cheesy Flip Flip” and actually getting a grilled cheese…

(via red letter daze)